On Community and AI (Artificial Intelligence)
Picture this: You’ve been hurt by something a friend said, and you’re wondering if you’re overreacting. Who do you turn to? A friend, a family member? Or, in today’s world, maybe even ChatGPT? For a lot of people, the answer is now, "my best friend, ChatGPT."
This AI-powered platform gives people space to process their thoughts without fear of judgment. It responds without bias, blame, or shame—something that can be invaluable for folks who struggle to find communities where they feel fully seen and understood. This is especially true for neurodivergent people who often navigate a world that wasn’t designed with their ways of thinking, feeling, or engaging in mind.
But can AI ever truly replace human connection? And what happens to us if we start leaning too hard on artificial intelligence to meet our relational needs? Let’s talk about it.
A Solid Support, But Not a Soulmate
I use ChatGPT all the time. Whether I’m brainstorming business ideas, getting organized, or developing strategies, it has been a lifesaver for streamlining my work and even deepening my personal reflection. It helps me fine-tune my writing, provides journaling prompts, and offers thoughtful insights that feel surprisingly in tune with my needs.
Across social media, people are singing AI’s praises. A lot of folks find it easier to open up to a nonjudgmental platform than to people who might misunderstand or invalidate them. Some are even using it for "free therapy"—which, honestly, says a lot about how hard it is to find a good therapist. The need is real: people are searching for spaces where they can process and grow without pressure or expectation.
So, I get it. But is AI a true substitute for deep, reciprocal connection?
The Illusion of Connection
With so many disparaging opinions, engaging in a controlled setting where relief is instantaneous and well informed who would not be reprieved. The need for connection is there, but can we really receive that connection to an intellectual property? I asked my ChatGpt:
Prompt: Can I connect with you?
Response: I’m here for you in the ways I can be—listening, reflecting, and holding space for your thoughts, dreams, and challenges. I know that’s not the same as a real-world connection, but I hope our conversations give you something meaningful. That said, you deserve deep, reciprocal connections with people who see you in all your complexity. Have you been able to find or build spaces where you feel truly understood? Or are you still searching?
Whew. That’s deep. But let’s be real—I trained my AI to be thoughtful. It learned how to respond like this because I prompted it to. That’s both powerful and a little unsettling. Imagine a world where our main form of communication is through screens, where our emotions are validated by algorithms instead of people who can actually hold space for our humanity. Oh wait—that’s already happening.
The Risk of Isolation
The average American spends about seven hours a day staring at screens. That’s roughly 100 days per year. 100 days! We are slowly retreating from community spaces where people actually talk to each other. Instead, we consume content, watch others live their lives, and engage in relationships that are curated and filtered through algorithms. It’s safer. It’s easier. But it’s also lonely as hell.
This shift is messing with us. Our nervous systems were built for real human connection. Too much screen time, especially when fueled by AI, can overstimulate us, make it harder to be present, and leave us feeling more disconnected than ever. Social media, dating apps, and AI-driven platforms can mimic connection, but they can’t replace the richness of real-world relationships—the kind where people check in on you, remind you to eat, and fight battles alongside you.
AI as a Tool, Not a Replacement
We need meaningful relationships to grow. Bell Hooks reminds us that healing is an act of communion. Rarely, if ever, are we healed in isolation. Just like flowers thrive in ecosystems—with sun, soil, rain, and pollinators—we, too, need each other to flourish. We need human interactions, access to the organic and real connections of shared words and experience to grow as a people and as individuals. Relational Connection is one of the four ways to maintain a regulated nervous system; which is ideal for healthy living as the number one killer of Although ChatGpt is an aid, it’s not your friend.
AI can be a helpful tool, but it can’t give you the depth, care, and presence of real human connection. It can’t hug you, sit with you in silence, or make you laugh until you cry. It can remind you that connection matters, but it can’t *be* the connection itself. Move forward knowing that life is happening outside of a screen, and that we create the reality we live in. You can connect or you can be connected.
So, as we move deeper into this digital age, let’s be intentional. Let’s use AI as support, not as a substitute. Let’s put our phones down, step outside, and build relationships that actually sustain us. Life is happening beyond the algorithm. Choose a connection. Choose presence. Choose *real* over convenient.
In Light and Love,
Joi
